So my biggest struggle these days is frustration. Daily I get frustrated because of so many things and I can't seem to get out of it. I think my biggest struggle is with the kids. God gave me some wonderful and amazing kids and I KNOW I take them for granted in so many ways :(. But my frustration comes when daily I try my hardest to be the mom they need in love and discipline. And daily when I try and do that and I don't see immediate "reactions" from them I get frustrated. There's something different with each kid as well. With William it is his whiny attitude. I go and help out at his school and he is SUCH a good kid. But at home he whines all of the time. I ignore it...I try talking him through and disciplining him for it but nothing seems to work. With Zak it's is screams. Anytime someone takes a toy or bugs him he screams through it instead of using his words. Then when I try talking to him he throws a fit. With Matthew it's just plain naughty. He tells you "no" all of the time, he won't got to bed at night (we fight with him for over an hour each night), he hits you and doesn't do anything we say. So daily i start of patient and willing to work through all of these issues but by the end of the day I'm frustrated and not a beautiful woman inside :(.
I have found a few verses in Ephesians that seem to help me calm down when my frustration arises but it's so temporary. I'm seriously open for advice. Especially with number 4 on the way...I need to figure things out and fast. Please let there be someone who goes through the same thing so I feel somewhat normal :)
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Stacey, I know I don't know you that well but see you at church all the time and you always seem so calm and collected! I enjoyed reading this blog because you speak of the things I go through daily! If you find the answers it would be wonderful if you could share them with me. Praying for you and hope that your day is going well today!
Stac, I'm so glad you're blogging again! I always learn so much from your writing and these last two posts are no exception. I'm not sure if this is helpful with the boys or not, but I've found that consistency and sticking to an almost really rigid schedule is key for my kids to thrive in their behavior. We still have a long way to go, too, but once we can keep in our regular rhythms of time, knowing what they can expect next each day, has helped a ton...which helps my patience too. I'm sure this isn't anything new to you and you probably do this already. It's just the two things I've found along my short journey as a mom. You are a great mom - even when you're frustrated. I think we so often feel guilty if we're not that "perfect mom" and that's just not what it's about. It's about the fact that we WANT to be better and we step back, get up the next day and TRY AGAIN. Every day I look at it as an opportunity to try and have a better day than the one I had before. Some days, I fail miserably. But that's when I'm so thankful for God's grace and mercy. :) You made me think up this article I had read on this and I'm going to put it up on my blog if you want to check it out. So encouraging. Love you, friend!
You are NOT alone. Logan is our whiny one and Lydia is the screamer, will not listen(somedays) and doesn't like to sleep. There are days the kids do great Lydia will go right down for bed, but it's the days I'm the weakest, most tired, and frustrated that she fights it.
I don't know I don't have the answers, but I will pray for you, Brian, and the kids.
Thanks girls. I greatly appreciate your encouragement. Meg...you'll have to elaborate a little more on how specific of a schedule you do :). Thanks for your prayers...that, along with Gods word and promises, is the only thing that seems to get me through everyday...good and bad.
Stacie, first of all you are not alone! You are a great mom and you have three very active, busy boys! You are at a tough stage in your parenting journey, because you don't get any visible, lasting evidence that anything you are doing is making any difference at all. Everything you do, every day you have done a million times before and will do a million more...make the same meals, clean the same messes, hear the same whining, screaming...I'm thankful you have your photography business to give you something you can accomplish that you can see and feel. Everyone with young kids, especially those who are home with their kids all the time share in your struggles. It is HARD to spend day after day with little people that can't communicate clearly, don't usually appreciate the wonderful meal you've made for them or the opportunity to take a nice nap. They are very needy, and sometimes it can be tedious and frustrating and you wonder what on earth you were thinking when you decided to have kids! I agree with Megan that consistency helps a lot. With William, I'd encourage you to ignore the whining completely...so completely that you don't even respond to him if he's whining. Say he's asking you for a drink, and you've asked him to ask politely without whining, and he keeps whining. Don't get him the drink until he asks without whining. Only give him one reminder, then just don't respond to him at all. He will figure it out pretty quickly! Zak is a bit trickier...but the same thing would work with him...tell him he needs to stop screaming and use his words, and if he won't, put him in time out until he's ready to use words. Mattie is a two year old boy and is by definition, naughty!!! Consistent discipline, not allowing him to hit you, and keep on repeating and repeating and repeating! Just some ideas, some of which you may already be doing. Be encouraged, though...your boys are doing so well. You and Brian are doing a great job with them. And it won't be much longer until they will give you positive signs that you are making an impact! Motherhood is the highest calling for a woman of God, and He is faithful to work in us, through us, and in spite of us. He is even more committed than we are to loving our kids well and helping them become all that He's created them to be. I had some very tough years when my boys were so little, but I know now that God was always working in ways I could not see, in me and in them, and they continually amaze me today with their hearts for God and the young people they are becoming. When Andrew was in Jr. High I had my first moment of "I can't believe that's MY SON!" and I began to see so clearly that all the frustration and repetition and days of feeling like I was banging my head against the wall were all so immeasurably worthwhile!!! I still have frustrating days sometimes, and wonder again what God was thinking when He entrusted me with these precious lives, and He reminds me again that He will complete the work He began in me and in them, and the hard days are an important part of the process. Hang in there, girl. It is so normal to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, but it's not easy! Do you get any time away from the kids and Brian just for "you" time? I had at least one block of a few hours of time a week where I left the kids and the house in Paul's hands and just went out. I might only go to McDonald's with a book and have a hot fudge sundae, or go for a walk in the park, or drive and pray, or find a quiet place and journal. That time is essential to your SANITY!!! When Andrew was about 8, he asked me why I was leaving for one of my "down times" and I told him that it helps me be a better Mommy, and he said 'oh, OK, bye!' I love you girl and I'm praying for you!
Tracie
Stacie, first of all you are not alone! You are a great mom and you have three very active, busy boys! You are at a tough stage in your parenting journey, because you don't get any visible, lasting evidence that anything you are doing is making any difference at all. Everything you do, every day you have done a million times before and will do a million more...make the same meals, clean the same messes, hear the same whining, screaming...I'm thankful you have your photography business to give you something you can accomplish that you can see and feel. Everyone with young kids, especially those who are home with their kids all the time share in your struggles. It is HARD to spend day after day with little people that can't communicate clearly, don't usually appreciate the wonderful meal you've made for them or the opportunity to take a nice nap. They are very needy, and sometimes it can be tedious and frustrating and you wonder what on earth you were thinking when you decided to have kids! I agree with Megan that consistency helps a lot. With William, I'd encourage you to ignore the whining completely...so completely that you don't even respond to him if he's whining. Say he's asking you for a drink, and you've asked him to ask politely without whining, and he keeps whining. Don't get him the drink until he asks without whining. Only give him one reminder, then just don't respond to him at all. He will figure it out pretty quickly! Zak is a bit trickier...but the same thing would work with him...tell him he needs to stop screaming and use his words, and if he won't, put him in time out until he's ready to use words. Mattie is a two year old boy and is by definition, naughty!!! Consistent discipline, not allowing him to hit you, and keep on repeating and repeating and repeating! Just some ideas, some of which you may already be doing. Be encouraged, though...your boys are doing so well. You and Brian are doing a great job with them. And it won't be much longer until they will give you positive signs that you are making an impact! Motherhood is the highest calling for a woman of God, and He is faithful to work in us, through us, and in spite of us. He is even more committed than we are to loving our kids well and helping them become all that He's created them to be. I had some very tough years when my boys were so little, but I know now that God was always working in ways I could not see, in me and in them, and they continually amaze me today with their hearts for God and the young people they are becoming. When Andrew was in Jr. High I had my first moment of "I can't believe that's MY SON!" and I began to see so clearly that all the frustration and repetition and days of feeling like I was banging my head against the wall were all so immeasurably worthwhile!!! I still have frustrating days sometimes, and wonder again what God was thinking when He entrusted me with these precious lives, and He reminds me again that He will complete the work He began in me and in them, and the hard days are an important part of the process. Hang in there, girl. It is so normal to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, but it's not easy! Do you get any time away from the kids and Brian just for "you" time? I had at least one block of a few hours of time a week where I left the kids and the house in Paul's hands and just went out. I might only go to McDonald's with a book and have a hot fudge sundae, or go for a walk in the park, or drive and pray, or find a quiet place and journal. That time is essential to your SANITY!!! When Andrew was about 8, he asked me why I was leaving for one of my "down times" and I told him that it helps me be a better Mommy, and he said 'oh, OK, bye!' I love you girl and I'm praying for you!
Tracie
Stacie, first of all you are not alone! You are a great mom and you have three very active, busy boys! You are at a tough stage in your parenting journey, because you don't get any visible, lasting evidence that anything you are doing is making any difference at all. Everything you do, every day you have done a million times before and will do a million more...make the same meals, clean the same messes, hear the same whining, screaming...I'm thankful you have your photography business to give you something you can accomplish that you can see and feel. Everyone with young kids, especially those who are home with their kids all the time share in your struggles. It is HARD to spend day after day with little people that can't communicate clearly, don't usually appreciate the wonderful meal you've made for them or the opportunity to take a nice nap. They are very needy, and sometimes it can be tedious and frustrating and you wonder what on earth you were thinking when you decided to have kids! I agree with Megan that consistency helps a lot. With William, I'd encourage you to ignore the whining completely...so completely that you don't even respond to him if he's whining. Say he's asking you for a drink, and you've asked him to ask politely without whining, and he keeps whining. Don't get him the drink until he asks without whining. Only give him one reminder, then just don't respond to him at all. He will figure it out pretty quickly! Zak is a bit trickier...but the same thing would work with him...tell him he needs to stop screaming and use his words, and if he won't, put him in time out until he's ready to use words. Mattie is a two year old boy and is by definition, naughty!!! Consistent discipline, not allowing him to hit you, and keep on repeating and repeating and repeating! Just some ideas, some of which you may already be doing. Be encouraged, though...your boys are doing so well. You and Brian are doing a great job with them. And it won't be much longer until they will give you positive signs that you are making an impact! Motherhood is the highest calling for a woman of God, and He is faithful to work in us, through us, and in spite of us. He is even more committed than we are to loving our kids well and helping them become all that He's created them to be. I had some very tough years when my boys were so little, but I know now that God was always working in ways I could not see, in me and in them, and they continually amaze me today with their hearts for God and the young people they are becoming. When Andrew was in Jr. High I had my first moment of "I can't believe that's MY SON!" and I began to see so clearly that all the frustration and repetition and days of feeling like I was banging my head against the wall were all so immeasurably worthwhile!!! I still have frustrating days sometimes, and wonder again what God was thinking when He entrusted me with these precious lives, and He reminds me again that He will complete the work He began in me and in them, and the hard days are an important part of the process. Hang in there, girl. It is so normal to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, but it's not easy! Do you get any time away from the kids and Brian just for "you" time? I had at least one block of a few hours of time a week where I left the kids and the house in Paul's hands and just went out. I might only go to McDonald's with a book and have a hot fudge sundae, or go for a walk in the park, or drive and pray, or find a quiet place and journal. That time is essential to your SANITY!!! When Andrew was about 8, he asked me why I was leaving for one of my "down times" and I told him that it helps me be a better Mommy, and he said 'oh, OK, bye!' I love you girl and I'm praying for you!
Tracie
Stacie, first of all you are not alone! You are a great mom and you have three very active, busy boys! You are at a tough stage in your parenting journey, because you don't get any visible, lasting evidence that anything you are doing is making any difference at all. Everything you do, every day you have done a million times before and will do a million more...make the same meals, clean the same messes, hear the same whining, screaming...I'm thankful you have your photography business to give you something you can accomplish that you can see and feel. Everyone with young kids, especially those who are home with their kids all the time share in your struggles. It is HARD to spend day after day with little people that can't communicate clearly, don't usually appreciate the wonderful meal you've made for them or the opportunity to take a nice nap. They are very needy, and sometimes it can be tedious and frustrating and you wonder what on earth you were thinking when you decided to have kids! I agree with Megan that consistency helps a lot. With William, I'd encourage you to ignore the whining completely...so completely that you don't even respond to him if he's whining. Say he's asking you for a drink, and you've asked him to ask politely without whining, and he keeps whining. Don't get him the drink until he asks without whining. Only give him one reminder, then just don't respond to him at all. He will figure it out pretty quickly! Zak is a bit trickier...but the same thing would work with him...tell him he needs to stop screaming and use his words, and if he won't, put him in time out until he's ready to use words. Mattie is a two year old boy and is by definition, naughty!!! Consistent discipline, not allowing him to hit you, and keep on repeating and repeating and repeating! Just some ideas, some of which you may already be doing. Be encouraged, though...your boys are doing so well. You and Brian are doing a great job with them. And it won't be much longer until they will give you positive signs that you are making an impact! Motherhood is the highest calling for a woman of God, and He is faithful to work in us, through us, and in spite of us. He is even more committed than we are to loving our kids well and helping them become all that He's created them to be. I had some very tough years when my boys were so little, but I know now that God was always working in ways I could not see, in me and in them, and they continually amaze me today with their hearts for God and the young people they are becoming. When Andrew was in Jr. High I had my first moment of "I can't believe that's MY SON!" and I began to see so clearly that all the frustration and repetition and days of feeling like I was banging my head against the wall were all so immeasurably worthwhile!!! I still have frustrating days sometimes, and wonder again what God was thinking when He entrusted me with these precious lives, and He reminds me again that He will complete the work He began in me and in them, and the hard days are an important part of the process. Hang in there, girl. It is so normal to feel overwhelmed and frustrated, but it's not easy! Do you get any time away from the kids and Brian just for "you" time? I had at least one block of a few hours of time a week where I left the kids and the house in Paul's hands and just went out. I might only go to McDonald's with a book and have a hot fudge sundae, or go for a walk in the park, or drive and pray, or find a quiet place and journal. That time is essential to your SANITY!!! When Andrew was about 8, he asked me why I was leaving for one of my "down times" and I told him that it helps me be a better Mommy, and he said 'oh, OK, bye!' I love you girl and I'm praying for you!
Tracie
Let me just email you our schedule...it's way too long for here. :)
don't have as much to say as the other girls....but a little thought..Knowing he behaves at school is a sign he knows how to behave and what is expected. I know that isn't very comforting when you want him to behave at home too! You are doing great...know this is a mystery of life...raising kids!!!!
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