LET LOVE BE YOUR GUIDE

So...I was given this book entitled "The Wonderful World of Boys"...it's a pretty cute book but also very insightful. I'm going to share something with you from it that is very important in parenting. I think too often we don't do this with our children...so read and enjoy.

A child should not be punished for behavior that is not willfully defiant. When he forgets to feed the dog or make his bed or take out the trash - when he leaves your tennis racket outside in the rain or loses his bicycle - remember that these behaviors are typical of childhood. It is, more than likely, the mechanism by which an immature mind is protected from adult anxieties and pressures. Be gentle as you teach him to do better. If he fails to respond to your defined consequences (he may have to work to pay for the item he lost or be deprived of its use, etc.). However, childish irresponsibility is very different from willful defiance and should be handled more patiently.

After a time of conflict during which the parent has demonstrated his right to lead (particularly if it resulted in tears for the child), the youngster between two and seven (or older) may want to be loved and reassured. By all means, open your arms and let him come! Hold him close and tell him of your love. Rock him gently and let him know, again, why he was punished and how he can avoid the trouble next time. This moment of communication builds love, fidelity, and family unity. And for the Christian family, it is extremely important to pray with the child at that time, admitting to God that we have all sinned and no one is perfect. Diving forgiveness is a marvelous experience, even for a very young child.

Avoid impossible demands. Be absolutely sure that your child is capable of delivering what you require. Never punish him for wetting the bed involuntarily or for not becoming potty-trained by one year of age or for doing poorly in school when he is incapable of academic success. These impossible demands put the child in an unresolvable conflict: Ther is no way out. That condition brings inevitable damage to the human emotional apparatus.

Let love be your guide. A relationship that is characterized by genuine love and affection is likely to be a healthy one, even though parental mistakes and errors are inevitable.

~Dr. James Dobson~

The part I highlighted is the part I find so true and vital in a relationship with your children. So often parents in todays society expect their kids to grow up. The can't wait for the next step. Think about it...I'm guilty of this myself. God gives you a beautiful baby and immediately you're thinking of the future. when will he smile, when will his first laugh be, I can't wait till he starts crawling, or eating solid foods, sleeping through the night, walking, running, talking...then it begins. Your child, you baby is already growing up and your expectations begin to get higher and higher. By time your kid is in Kindergarden you're already thinking of the next year and what he should be able to do as opposed to what he really can do. Parents punish children because they can't meet their parents expectations. Too often it's the parents thinking of what they expect of their children...take a moment and think...what do your children expect of you? Love, patience, understanding. They expect you to teach them right from wrong in a gentle loving way...not in a way that gives them any impression at all that you don't love them. Are these expectations impossible?

Just a thought for today!

Encouragement...if you have any doubt in your mind that one of children think you don't love them unconditionally...take it to God toady and make the change.